Dear Diseased and Dilapidated,
A very fond farewell to Stripper. He's performed his final lap dance recently and is now in heaven. His incredible abilities to satisfy are legendary. He will be missed!!! R.I.P.
Uga finally was released from home detention and made an appearance last week. In fact, he was eager to promote his latest novel, Stroking the Bulldog. He's still on double secret probation to attend or be spayed.
Please pardon your Commish for allowing Alumpa in. Apparently, he has some pieces of coal (Cole) that he uses to consult with Madame Anthracite to make his picks.
And what about Cornholed who has cheated his way to 2nd overall?! I've appointed 1-800-Ask and the Flyers to examine his score keeping corruption. More to come . . .
I've hired Surge, Sasquatch and Ebola to do a brain scan on Cellboy. The closest he's been to 8 – 0 is his graduation from Take Your Best Shot University or his wedding night. Watch this space for more information.
• LilDustyUga is 1st overall but 3rd in their division. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• Beefy Tee continues his ascent to worst score ever, hoping for one perfect score.
• Cornholed is 2nd overall but 3rd in his division, way behind the leaders.
Bad Luck!
The Commish
May you be a renewable source for hot air balloons!