Dear Denuded and Despicable,
Pictured below is the victim of Antonio Brown’s assault. Irresistible, huh?!
Week 1 done, and Doc, of course won her head to head. Shocking!!
Less than shocking was Brews’ talking smack but finishing dead last! I’m sure you’re all astonished and eager to play against a yapping cherry!
And I’m going to need your help in identifying “Keeper” from the Outlaw Line. Picked North Carolina at 15 and their opponent Miami at 5. Congrats to this genius winner of the DumbShit (DS) award right from the git-go.
Joy to FitNitWit for finishing 2nd! Must be the influence of a main squeeze. Keep squeezing!
• Way more interesting than tonight’s game is Doc VS HeadEx.
• In a match of fitness trainers, it’s Dusty VS FitNitWit. Who lifts more dead weight?!
• Stanky game of the week—Bits & Brews VS Nail Stripper, 31 VS 28. Yuck-a-do!
• Mismatch of the week—worse than Pat’s VS Dolphins, is RagArm VS Shroomer.
Can Shroomer have ingested enough substances to beat RagArm like he beat PoGo?!!
May you still be sending messages with your secret decoder ring!!
Bad Luck!
The Commish