Dear Devastated and Distraught, All our best to the folks in the Carolinas facing Florence! School Marm has graciously volunteered her bottlecaps to the Donald for hurricane relief because she wants him to continue to rate himself A++. So While we’re on the subject of School Marm, consider she’s 1st and Stripper is worst. Hmm, a little suspicious . . . For those of you not aware, Mookie had been hospitalized during our off-season. While there, he had elective surgery to insert a football chip in his frontal cortex. Obviously it was a success since he smoked everyone in the Outlaw Line. Perhaps he should be suspended for use of PEDs (prefrontally enhanced decision-making)!!! And rookie Gomer came in 2nd in the Outlaw Line even though he doesn’t know the difference between a football spread and cream cheese on a bagel. Luckily for Lil Nipper and Uga, Dusty Rhodes (the American Dream) wasn’t around to help make picks—thus they were first in their weak conference. And in the WTF news, how could Lovely’s rancid picks put him in 2nd?! Thanks, again, to Shroomer who is on the road again to visit cow paddies across the USA. We wish him good luck and careful footsteps. May you not be afraid of voiding your warranty for thinking too much. Bad Luck, The Commish Return