Dear Dense, Deviant & Disorderly,
I have acquired a sacred document from unscrupulous grave diggers who plundered the tomb of Vince Lombardi. Some of those mentioned therein have passed on to the depths below, others are still in the game with diminished functions, and others, like School Marm, have become even more twisted. So you think the St. Louis Cardinals were appointed by the Pope!!?
Bad Luck!
The Commish
BUT WAIT there's more ...
There will be a special tee shirt section for Italian quarterbacks who can' throw.
My sainted mother, Porno, will finally secure her life's dream and open the first senior citizen's dirty card store. Her store will be located next to School Marm's Home for Children She'd Like to Abuse--corporal punishment our specialty.
One anchor will be Drug Lord's Pharmacy and Baseball Card Discount Outlet.
Tatto said “My son knows football". Sure. The closest he's been to winning a week was in a dream where he found a Ty Cobb rookie card in a shoe box full of Ludes.
Our main anchor will be the "Let the Good Times Roll Pleasure Palace". Nearly 50,000 square feet (or almost as big as their current location) will contain that trio of Snips, Nails and Juice. It is here where Susie will be able to be spend to her hearts delight. Snips and Nails have hired the best scantily clad body builders who also cut hair and nails along with slaves from the Juice Plantation. My only suggestion is that they hire someone with brains who can help them with their picks.
The last minute addition to the Mall (as in the
How many of you know Doc and Yokel are from the same country?--Estonia. Just try and overhear one of their conversations,
or is he in one of her groups? Yokel has the food concession at Susie's Shopping Center. Specialty of the
house is corn flakes and LaBatts.
Pickle is running the beverage department--everything's better with Coke. That's a drink, nimrod!
We all owe a great debt (not money, of course) to the staff at Total Tennis who dealt with your
dumb questions (Whiner) and especially Big Byte who put up with our bitching about the Cum Line.
Thanks also to my bro Gwermo, an ex-Commish, who reminded me about the crucial D.S. rules.
You may think I've forgotten someone. Au contraire, rnon frere--that's French, you Bozo.
Yes, the Hero of 1992-1993 FYSMDFL, the most valuable contributor to mayhem, that genius of picks, that specialist
in elocution--we all know and love him--that suave sifter of elephant remains at the Fairgrounds, that future fixture of
Police Academy XVI (that's sixteen )- - - - - - - - CONCH !! In all the anals (sic) of FVSMDFL, no one has ever soared so high.
Diseased Yaks couldn't have scored higher than his final picks. Our chapeaus (hat's, you airhead) are doffed (that means taken off) to you.
The Commish thanks you all and can't wait for next season. His final pick to click--Bills 15 1/4,
Cowboys 15 1/4--Commish keeps the cash !