Dear Dweebs & Dorks (you know who you are),
Congrats to Mookie and Fit NitWit for winning the week, and the sisters for first and second in the Outlaw Line! And a special shout out to Mookie for having another B’day!! In addition, it’s been 4 years since his liver transplant!!! You may not be aware that the Butt saved the old one and is now displaying it proudly at her home, kind of like the Shroud of Turin. Visitors are welcome, especially for a significant donation.
Our hero Shroomer is making a career change. No longer will he be a real estate mogul of virtual transactions. He has forsaken that crass occupation to become a preacher! Please consider using him for weddings, funerals, drug orgies, etc., to give blessings and preside over ceremonies. Scary, huh? In fact, he beautifully officiated DooDoo and TP’s wedding last Saturday!
Hope lots of you got to meet DooDoo and his child bride, Toilet Paper, last huddle. Apparently DooDoo was so looking forward to his wedding night bliss that he neglected to put his picks in! Should I have given him a “get laid” dispensation? Hee, hee, hee.
My compliments to Brain—the only Dweeb who picked the Jags last week! I’ve been telling everyone what a genius you are! Bah!!
Bad Luck,
The Commish