Dear Imbeciles and Jackasses,
Hooray the return of the Butt and her Ta Ta's! For such a special event, your Commish has worked out special pricing: 2 soft rubs for the price of one at only $5.00! Yahoo!!
In a classic dumb shit move, Surge invited relatives--a mother/son team we know as Calorie--to join the league. Unfortunately, Calorie smoked Surge head-to-head last week! How ungrateful! In addition, Surge's child bride, Hawk, decided to pick 2 sides of the same game in the Outlaw Line. Way to go!
Oh, don't feel too bad, as you've got dumb shit company: AA picked Alabama twice. (AA, "AA" does not stand for "Alabama Alabama.")
Last week Cellboy was on suicide watch. Then he went to the deluge in Michigan, only to see his Wolverines demolished by that powerhouse, Utah. Apparently, he was so mortified, he didn't get his picks in this week. Our hearts go out to this distraught Bucs fan. He also had predicted that the Bucs would win 2 of their next 3 road games, including the Falcons. Wooops!!
You're not yourselves today! I noticed the improvement immediately!!
Bad Luck,
The Commish