Dear Aroused and Anal,
(Just look around you to see whom that describes.)
I don't know about you, but the non-FYSMDP part of the year sucks. Let's threaten Roger Goodell to lengthen the season or we'll expose the many other players, coaches and owners who have increased their intake of recreational drugs and intensified domestic violence.
As usual, your Commish has assembled a rancid crop of cherries of whom we will all take advantage. Give them bad advice--of course, that's the only kind RagArm dispenses. Although he deserves credit for sucking Hawk/Surge into hosting the last Super Bowl and Dickie Betts concert extravaganza. (Many thanks, Hawk & Surge!!) By the way, Gwermo, they asked you to return the two sets of silver place settings that mysteriously slipped into your pocket.
Grammy Cherapova has forged ahead of Hawk/Surge with the most family members in the League, and a new one on the way.
Big ups to the Fetishes for again hosting this band of derelicts. They have asked me to mention that they will soon be all alone at home. Please visit them with your rowdy friends late at night like their daughters used to do!
Thanks, Butt, for your magnificent new ta-tas. Let me update everyone, that on the recommendation of Big Byte and my saintly mother, Porno, our friend Cheesey finally scooted through the Pearly Gates and joined the great fysmdp league in the sky.
And finally, Shroomer, you seem to have done it again. Your mad computer skills are of the highest order of voodoo. Of course, the inspiration of Mona Lott and the Gu helps fuel your engine!
See everyone next Thursday, 7pm, at the Daiquiri Deck for our first weekly huddle. Thanks, Lovely, for having us back!! (You foolish man . . .)
May you be as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
Bad Luck, The Commish