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Dear Jerks and Jerkettes, We're ba-a-a-ack--just like Gwermo's STDs. Maybe they're not much fun to have, but it was probably a blast contracting them. Once again, major props to our gracious hosts, the Fetishes and family, soon to include a son-in-law. I'd also like to give my personal thanks to the kind folks at Fitness Quest who provided me with the appropriate PEDs responsible for my win last year. Yes, better picking through chemistry! For those of you who are unaware, Shroomer and Mona Lott had to flee Florida. Shroomer was identified as one of the flashers at Venice beach and the new Venice Daiquiri Deck.They have moved to California where this behavior is encouraged. Congratulations to Mona Lott, who has finally landed her dream part time job at the Improv Comedy Club in L.A., as a stand-up stripper comedienne. At any rate, FYSMDP will be trans-continentally operated this year. Picks will still be due Wednesdays 6:00pm Eastern Time. And while Shroomer is often awake and raging at any hour, don't count on him responding to you in your mind zone. We will have the usual crop of cherries. Please welcome them with bad advice and rudeness. Braggers of the Year Awards: 100 LP League--tie, Dusty Rhodes, who signed up late because he didn't want to discourage others from signing up; and Doo Doo, who switched banks so he could accommodate this year's winnings. 300 BD League--Rag Arm, who, after moving up from the 100 LP League, was embarrassed because it was so-o-o-o much easier (week 3). Great going Mr. Mediocre, whose standing slipped like his slow slider to Ozzie Smith. Thanks to Hollywood for being a most excellent host at last year's Super Bowl! Please Gwermo, return the blender. I have paid off Lovely to allow us to return to the Daiquiri Deck for our weekly huddles. Yippee skippee! He has assured me that he'll remove the video cams in the Ladies Room. And, of course, thanks to Shroomer, Mona Lott and the Butt (squeeze, please), without whom we would be lost like Gwermo's crabs. Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that. May you be entitled to your own opinion; it's just that yours is stupid.
Bad Luck,
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