Dear Fragmented and Fried, In FYSMDP many mysteries abound. For example, how come the products of Surge's loins are first in the big D League (Boa) and 3rd in the little P League (G String) while Surge himself is mired in the mediocrity of 20th place. Perhaps they are not related to him at all? Shall we ask his most beautiful and bodacious wife, Hawk, if she was led astray on two nights of overwhelming passion, and did conceive these two brilliant children from . . . .Gwermo?? Nah!! And let us not forget Mrs. Paul, who guaranteed the end of the world on December 21st (having been possessed by ghosts of Mayans past.) So certain of this "prophecy" was he that he volunteered his sumptuous bride, Fish (part of the team of Sexy Fish Wax), to be joined together with Gwermo if the end did not ar-rive. Being a staunch supporter of her husband (wink, wink), she gladly agreed. Stay tuned for further world's end info with photos.         Things to do the day before the world ends:    •  Streak    •  Tell everyone exactly what you think of them    •  Fart in church    •  Throw away your bucket list Bad Luck! The Commish Return