It's dubious that Santa will be visiting any of you except to dump coal in your smelly stocking.
On Santa's direct line to your Commish, he regrets to inform you "your pathetic requests for help in making picks has been turned down." Remember "naughty"? Well, apparently Santa got sufficient info to put all of you in that category.
Don't look to the elves for help as they are too busy slashing Brett Favre's tires so he can't get to the game.
And Mrs. Clause can't be disturbed as she is busy filming Rudolph's hooves to send to Rex Ryan and his wife.
May your idea of a great Christmas Eve be sitting in front of a dead tree, eating cookies and snacks out of your socks!
Bad Luck,
The Commish
Reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be caught dead than be caught wearing red velvet.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment!