What a cataclysm! Beaner/Brain in 2nd and Howdy Doody in 1st! That’s as likely as the Bucs ever scoring or an earthquake in Sarasota! Is nothing sacred?!
What’s up with the Cherries doing great? I must have explained things too well. Bah! Luckily, Kid Rock made up for them with a truly wretched score. Poor Boner—prison food with saltpeter has apparently addled his brain: his worst picks ever!
Are there worse teams than the Bucs, Packers and Raiders?! It’s gonna be a long season for Cellboy. Tattoo and Mite bought season tickets, but after last week’s performance they tried to get a refund. Unfortunately for them, the ticket agent got a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Beware! I understand that Gwermo is selling counterfeit earrings supposedly made from my radioactive seeds. Only buy the genuine glow-in-the-dark articles.
May you love nature, despite what it did to you,
The Commish